ooo la laaaa ~

i am updating, finally. haha.

results are soo yesterday. my grades are, well, average. decent enough to get into the course i want, which is not all that competitive though, considering that i am applying for enrolment in the faculty of science at nus. haha, but i am still thankful for my results, for it could have been much worse. so ya, i am satisfied :) no regrets for one, as i really did put in my utmost effort in preparing for it, although time was a little tight then. however, i am a little puzzled at how cambridge markers mark and grade the scripts. haha, just weird. anyway, congrats to my friends who did well too! :) and to the dearest ones that didn't, i will pray hope wish that you can get into your desired course, and from there, just forget that A levels ever existed. heh ;)

the next important thing after results would be applications to universities. did not have much of a headache deciding which course i want, as i had already sort of made up my mind to undertake a degree relating to maths, since like 6 months ago or so. and now, i am still pretty keen on it. not really interested in other courses, except maybe psychology or statistics (lol). i considered business too, but i don't really find it interesting. law and medicine are my past ambitions, but my grades will deem me ineligible, even if i want have a go at it now. ahaha. ok so, my desired course now would be Applied Mathematics at NUS FOS. and contrary to what many think, i do not aim to be a math teacher! lol, i can enter other professions you know. i am thinking of actuary actually. haha, if not, i will just apply my maths to other fields. lol, i make it sound so simple -.-

visited smu open house last week. haha, for fun, and to accompany stella :) attended some talks, visited booths, blah blah. didn't get a chance to explore the whole campus though, cos it was raining, resulting in the campus tour being kept on postponed indefinitely -.- ended up getting stuck at the admission building. haha. then i went for nus open house earlier today (when everybody is at ntu, i choose to think) lol. almost went alone, but went with NG instead and met his friend (my ex pri sch classmate) TK. i still remember him, though he doesn't. zzz. haha. anyway, attended the talks, which were quite boring. went straight to the maths booth at FOS, and asked a few questions. walked around a little. blah blah. then met evelyn and her ac seniors for dinner. ok la, chatted with them a bit, nice people :) caught up a little with evelyn too :)

ok anyway, i finally went back to guitar to visit! haha, it's been sooo longg. heh. heard them playing their 2 syf pieces, and it was not bad la. haha :) in fact, i am impressed that all of them memorised their score! haha coolness, since the fingering and notes are not all that easy. talked to some of the juniors, and ya, it's great seeing them again :)

went for free nus genus concert yest night with ex guit mates. haha. it was not too bad, revolving around japanese themes. of all the songs, i like the song 'part of your world' best! lovely song! the 2 songs put up by the niborii ensemble were also great! haha, genus mayy be my future cca! see how it goes ;)

other than that, it's work work and work. not too bad, still working with kids. my kid got his own shadow teacher already, so now i am more or less a relief teacher covering classes for assistant teachers. got to go to different classes, which means working with different lead teachers, which means having to remember more names of kids. lol, a test of my memory.

on a side note, facebook is flooding my mail even more so now -.-

and it became more awkward =/
maybe i regret
everything i said
no way to take it all back...

maybe i'm just an overreacting piece of shit.

but how could you even act nonchalent to it all?
when i am struggling with this facade i put up, trying to shrug of everything as though i can't be bothered, when it is actually causing me so much discomfort.
now, i am fully convinced that things can't go back to normal.
there is too much awkwardness, embarassment, regret, resentment and i don't know what else between us.
yet, i still have to face you, acting as though it was just all a big joke then.

god, how when why did things even turn out like that? :(

how i wish i could believe nic goh, believe that i could turn back time...

but then again, maybe, subconsciously, i wish that i could just do it my way.